Right Timing

Last night I was searching the closet where all my college stuff is stashed away.  I was looking for the pack of 3X5 note cards that was left-over from this past school year.  As I was looking for the note cards, I came across the memory verse cards from my Story of the New Testament, Bible class.  I looked at the first card which was Matthew 6:33-34.  These two verses come from the passage of Matthew 6:25-34 which talks about not worrying.  Verses 33-34 say this...

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

As soon as I read this I thought, "Wow, God sure does know when to speak at the right time."

I guess I could say one of my flaws is worrying about the future.  I have a tendency to worry about what my future holds in many areas of my life.

These verses were exactly what I needed to hear.  The passage starts with this, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,..."

This is what my focus needs to be.  Instead of worrying about what the future holds, I need to be focused on seeking his kingdom and his righteousness.  If I focus on seeking these two things, then God will direct me in the way he wants me to go.  There is nothing to worry about when we are 100%, fully seeking Christ.  If we constantly seek him and strive to serve him, then there is nothing to fear, because we are walking in the way he has for us.

The second part to verse 33 says this, "...and all these things will be given to you as well."  This doesn't mean we will get that $80 pair of jeans we've been wanting, or that car that just went on sale.  When we FULLY seek Christ, we lose sight of what's not important (our wants), and we begin to gain perspective on what really matters.  And I believe what really matters is allowing God to work in and through us to share Christ's love with those around us, and to glorify Him in all we do.  God will supply us with what we need to fully serve him (not what we want).

Verse 34 is a great reminder to focus on the present.  There is nothing we can do by worrying.  When we worry, all we do is build up stress and anxiety which we definitely don't need.  If we focus on living for Christ in the present, then God will take care of our future.

I'm constantly reminded that God is in control.  He always shows his power and love at just the right time.

Sophomore Year, Second Semester (Spring 2011)

I returned to school refreshed and ready for second semester.  Honestly, I wasn't really excited about coming back.  My good friend, Dylan Fletcher, wasn't returning, so I was really bummed about that.  I had my close friends Randy and Matt, but they weren't real excited about returning either.  However, after a few weeks of school, we were all fine and enjoying the year (probably because we had a huge snow storm that cancelled classes for a few days).


When the semester began I was ready to start golfing again.  I had taken the last 7 weeks off, so I was ready to practice and get better.  We had about a week of practice, and then our coach held a team meeting letting us know when qualifying would begin for our first tournament.  He told us we would have another week to practice before qualifying began.  During this week, I worked hard on my game, trying to get ready for qualifying.


Our first day of qualifying was finally here!  I was ready to play!  The day before we qualified I heard we would be playing Oak Tree West course.  I had never played Oak Tree West before.  I had only played Oak Tree East.  I wasn't sure what the course was like, but everyone told me it was slightly easier than Oak Tree East.  That sounded like great news to me!  I thought, "The easier the golf course, the better!"  Especially with the way I had been playing the past 18 months.


We teed-off on hole one, a par 4.  My first shot went left, into the rough.  My second shot landed right of the green.  I chipped the ball onto the green to about five feet, leaving myself a quick, downhill putt that broke from right to left.  Unfortunately, I missed my putt for par.  I made my next put for a bogey 5.  I recovered nicely on the next hole with a par.  Then the trouble came.


Hole three is a long par 4 that has water that runs up the entire right side.  The green is surrounded by sand traps.  My plan was to hit a low fade and land the ball on the left side of the fairway.  I set-up to the ball, confident that I was going to execute the shot.  Unfortunately, the ball had a different plan.  (Or maybe it was my fault... haha) Anyway, the ball was curving toward the water.   I was hoping it would land softly in the rough, but it just kept curving.  When the ball landed, I saw a huge splash.  I dropped my second ball and pulled out my 3-wood.  This time I hit the ball down the center of the fairway.  I had about 230 yards left to the green.  I decided to hit my 3-wood again.  When I hit the shot, the ball flew straight toward the green.  Unfortunately, the ball bounced off the firm green and went into the rough.  I was able to hit my fifth shot close to the hole, and make the putt for a double bogey.  I didn't get frustrated.  I knew there was still plenty of golf to play.


The fourth hole went even worse than the third hole.  My first shot landed in some thick weeds about 20 yards left of the fairway.  I hacked the ball out of the weeds and into a sand trap.  I hacked the ball around the green a few more times and putted in for a triple bogey.  The rest of the round went downhill from there.  I continued to hit bad shot after bad shot.


By the time I finished the 9th hole, a huge fear had swept over me.


After the 9th hole I pulled out my cell phone to text my parents.  I never pull out my phone on the course, especially when qualifying.  I texted my parents this, "Please pray I break 100."  I wish I could say I was joking when I wrote this, but I was completely serious.  I haven't shot in the 100's since I was probably 10 years old.  I was playing the worst golf of my entire life!  I was completely embarrassed.  Here I am, 20 years old, playing golf in college, and I am struggling to break 100.  Good work, Kyle. (sarcasm)


The next thing that happened was a complete "God Thing."


The second I pushed, "Send", to my parents, I received a text message from one of my really close friends.  The text message simply said this, "Prayin for u right now!"  The amount of comfort and peace that I felt during that time was somewhat overwhelming.  I have no doubt that God was in control of that situation.  Like I said, I never pull my phone out on the course.  And right after I pulled my phone out, I got a text from someone who said they were praying for me at that very moment.  A moment when I felt so much anxiety, confusion, and frustration.


My parents texted back shortly after that and told me they were praying for me.  The peace of God swept over me.  I knew I had three people that cared and were praying for me.  Regardless of how I played the back nine, my parents and my close friend were still going to care very much for me.


I played the back nine not great, but a lot better than the front nine.  By the grace of God I was able to break 100.


As soon as I finished my round, I had to hurry off to drive down to lake Texoma for a K-Life leader retreat (K-Life is a middle school and high school student ministry).  When I began heading down to the lake, I called my dad.  I told him how I finished the rest of my round.  There was a noticeable difference in my attitude after that round, compared to my bad rounds the past few semesters.  I wasn't frustrated, I wasn't angry, I just thought, "Ok, God.  You are obviously trying to show me something.  Please help me to see what you are doing, and where you are leading me."


As I drove south on I-35, my mom eventually called me when she was on one of her breaks at work.  I told her how I finished the round.  As we were talking she said this statement, "Kyle, maybe this is God directing you in a different direction."  That's when I began to think, "Maybe God has something else for my life.  Maybe He is telling me to move on from golf."  My mom and I talked for a few more minutes.  After I hung up, I listened to my new CD, Passion: Awakening.


The first song on the CD is, Awakening, by Chris Tomlin.  I am going to write out the lyrics that became my prayer, and my cry to God...


For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me


This was my only prayer.  My one desire.  That God's will would be done in my life.  I wanted God to awake my soul to what He wanted, not to what Kyle wanted.  I was miserable with unsuccessfully chasing my own dreams and desires.


Once my mom and dad were both home from work, they called.  I talked to them for about 10 minutes about golf, life, and God's will.  We talked it over and decided if my golf game didn't improve in the near future, then it is probably God telling me to give it up.  We ended our conversation in prayer and they told me to have a great time at the K-Life leader retreat.


Once I got to the lake house I was warmly greeted with an applause.  Yes, you can go ahead and laugh.  I thought it was funny too.  All my K-Life friends are incredibly nice.  They had all traveled down the night before.  Since I had qualifying on Saturday, I couldn't go down until Saturday afternoon.  I was really glad I went.


We had a great evening hanging out, eating, and playing games.  I was able to speak with a few people about my golf situation.  We all thought God may be directing me away from golf since I had been playing absolutely terrible for the past year and a half.


The rest of the retreat went great!  I always enjoy hanging out with the staff and leaders from K-Life.  They always have an upbeat and happy attitude.  I love being around them.  We drove back Sunday afternoon, and I got ready for the upcoming school week.


Once again, I would like to say my golf game miraculously returned.  However, this isn't the case.  Since I played so bad the first day of qualifying, I knew I would not be traveling to any tournaments this semester.  So, once again, my job was to work on my golf game and try to get better.  I practiced the rest of the semester.  


I have improved a little bit, but even today, I am still not playing well.  I struggle to hit the ball straight.  Sometimes the ball will go way left, and sometimes it will go way right.  However, I continue to practice and try and get better.


..........


Through the last 20 months, I have learned many, many, life lessons.  God has completely stirred in my life and He has awakened me to see the big picture.  Before the Passion Conference I was so focused on myself and my golf game.  Since Passion, from studying the Bible, I have realized that we are here on this earth for one reason, and that is to bring glory to God, our LORD and Savior.  It is because of Him that we have been placed on this earth.  He sustains our every breath day-by-day.  Doesn't it make sense to give all the glory and praise to Him?  We have nothing to boast about.  God has generously provided us with everything we have.


I began one of my first blog posts by saying it hasn't been the most fun two years, and it hasn't been the most exciting two years, but it has definitely been the most beneficial two years.  As crazy as it sounds, I am soooooooo thankful God has allowed me to play absolutely terrible.  It  has truly been the most beneficial two years of my life.  It has been extremely humbling to know that my life isn't about me and any glory that I might bring to myself.  My life is about being the hands and feet of God.  Philippians 2:3-11 says it best.  I encourage you to look up the passage on your own.  Don't just read it, but actually study it.  Break down the scripture to see what it really means.  I will write out verse 3 and 4, which says this, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."


This past semester my Bible class was "Story of the New Testament."  We read through most of the New Testament.  I believe we covered 1 Corinthians through Revelation.  During this time of studying the Word, the Bible became extremely clear.  Paul wrote most of the books we studied.  Through Paul's writings and some other people's writings, I have been given a clear picture of what it means to be a servant of God.  If any of you haven't studied the Bible, I strongly encourage you to do so.


God has made me realize that it's not about my will, but about His will.  Thankfully, God is in control of my life.  If I were in control, then my life would be a complete mess.  I am not sure what God has in store for me in the future, but I know, without a doubt, if I put Him first and constantly seek Him in prayer and in scripture, then He will guide me where He wants me to be.


Sorry my blog posts have been so long.  I just felt led to share what's been going on in my life the past 20 months.  I promise the posts will be shorter from now on.  Thank you very much for taking the time to read the blog.  I hope and pray at least one of you has been encouraged from reading the posts.  We serve a great and mighty God!  God bless!