Freshman Year, First Semester (Fall 2009)

Well, I guess I will start all the way back at the beginning of my freshman year of college (a year and a half ago, August 2009).  Wow, hard to believe that was a year and a half ago.  Time really does fly by!  Anyway, I came to Oklahoma Christian University to play golf.  How I ended up at Oklahoma Christian (OC) is another story for possibly another time.  Let's just say God's hand was definitely at work.  One of those "God Things."  So I came to OC to play golf.  We started qualifying for our first tournament about the second week of September.  Our first day of qualifying was in Oklahoma City at a course called Lincoln Park and we were playing the West Course (Two 18 hole courses: the East Course and the West Course).  I played alright, but not great.  I shot a 75 on a par 71 course.  I was four-over par which is not great, but not bad for my first day of collegiate golf qualifying.


I was in the first group to tee-off that day, so I waited for everyone else to come in.  As the other groups came in, everyone would ask each other how everyone else did.  I continued to hear scores that absolutely blew my mind.  After all the scores came in, my heart kinda sank.  I realized I had just done the worst out of everyone on the team.  There were 9 guys qualifying, and I was 9th out of 9.  I thought this would only be a one time thing, but I was wrong.  BIG TIME WRONG!


The scores that came in went like this: 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 71, 72, 73, and good ole Kyle sitting dead last at 75.  I honestly couldn't believe it.  I was shocked, upset, and confused all at the same time.  Our team just shot an unbelievable score.  I had never competed against guys that shot that low.  I quickly realized that the competition at Oklahoma Christian definitely isn't something to laugh about.  Every single guy on the team could have EASILY played for a NCAA Division I school.  I slowly walked from the 18th green to my car in disbelief.  Had I really just placed dead last in the first day of qualifying?  I had never been last when it came to golf.  This was unfamiliar territory for me, but soon became very familiar territory.


As I finished putting my clubs in the car, I actually began to cry a little.  (A little secret about Kyle, if you didn't know, I would consider myself an emotional guy.  I'll be honest, I cry.  Is it a sign of weakness, no I don't think so.  It just shows that I am a very passionate person.  My grandpa cries during movies sometimes and he fought in World War II.  I have definitely been known to cry during movies.  Ask my sister.  The movie "Marley and Me", wow I definitely cried during that one.  I had to get the tissues for my sister and me)  Anyway, back on track.  I sat in my car rattled by what just happened.  I thought, "There is no way I can compete against these guys."  I made the golden mistake right there.  Instead of toughening up, I pretty much conceded.  Not good.  I talked with my parents after my round like I always do, and they really couldn't believe it either.  For the top 5 guys on the team to shoot a combined 25 under is ridiculous.  Non of us could believe it.


So as I drove back to the dorm, my parents gave me a little pep talk and encouraged me.  After talking with them, I was ready for the next day of qualifying.


I honestly don't remember individually, the rest of the qualifying rounds that semester.  They all blurred together.  I think this is what happened though.  The next few qualifying rounds (rounds 2 and 3) I think I played some mediocre, to less than mediocre rounds of golf.  I probably shot somewhere around 76-79.  Once again, I finished 9th out of 9 in these qualifying rounds.  As I continued to place dead last each day, my confidence continued to go down hill... and fast!  Before I knew it, my scores were crawling into the upper 80's and sometimes lower 90's.


By late October, I had lost most, if not all confidence.  The whole fall was a complete repetition.  I showed up to the course, hit a few range balls, went and played 9 or 18 holes, and came in to see that I was 9th out of 9.  This happened day in and day out.  Every day I would talk to my parents and they would say, "Well, how did it go today?"  They always had that excitement in their voice like maybe, just maybe today would be the day that Kyle started playing normal golf.  But, every day my reply was, "Well, not very good."  They continued to encourage me, pray with me over the phone, and tell me it would all work out.


There was a few days that I didn't place dead last.  Sometimes I would place 8th out of 9 and sometimes I would even shoot a score where I was 5th out of 9, but I never could play that way consistently.  This is how our conversations went when I did beat somebody.  Parents: "Well, how did it go today?" Me: "Alright, I shot 75.  I beat so and so."  Parents: "OH good!!!  Great job Kyle!  See, you're beating people!"  Me: "Mom and dad, I shot a 75, so and so shot a 76.  I only beat him by one shot.  There's still 7 guys that beat me. lol" Parents: "Well, it's an improvement!  You didn't get last today!"


I don't say that to make fun of me or my parents.  I say that to show how bad my golf had become.  It was considered a successful day if I didn't place last.  This is also where I went wrong.  I was comparing my golf game to everyone else's golf game.  I wasn't trying to play Kyle's game, I was trying to play everyone else's game.  In golf you can't do that.  You have to stay focused on only what you can do.  You can't get distracted by what others do.


Anyway, to wrap it up, the fall of 2009 was a TERRIBLE semester of golf.  I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I didn't get last.  It was not like I wasn't trying, I was probably practicing harder than anyone on the team.  It didn't make sense.  The whole time I was kinda questioning God saying, "Okay, where are you?  I do all the right things.  I go to church on Sundays, I go to the Sunday night small group, I go to the Wednesday night Bible study, and I volunteer for K-Life (a ministry for middle schoolers and high schoolers... I'll talk more about K-Life as time progresses)."  I felt like God owed me something.  It didn't seem fair that I was doing everything a Christian kid should do, but wasn't being rewarded for it.  Week after week I questioned where God was.  I had no clue what He was trying to show me.


Christmas break rolled around, and boy was I ready.  I was determined to fix the golf game and show the guys on the team that I was actually worthy of playing for Oklahoma Christian University.  God had other plans.